Dec 09 2008
HUGE NEWS!
Oprah admits she has gained weight!!!!!!!!! Why is that making headline news? Who cares!? The woman can afford to buy and sell any person her little heart desires! More than half of the united states is overweight and we are supposed to care about oprah. If her big news was she was addicted to crack or wasnt really born with a va jay jay then i would turn up the TV instead of my normal instinct to change the channel whenever she starts yelling about how rad she is.
I dont know. I know she is a good person who opens schools and gives people cars who cant afford the taxes but whatever oprah. There is a war going on, there are people in india dying for no reason, millions of people worldwide are worried about having a job tomorrow morning but for some reason we need to care about oprah’s muffin top!
I get that people need distractions from life and how depressing it can be. Watch an episode of the Golden Girls or how about reading a book?
I think i would care more if she wasnt capeable of hiring a entourage of people just to make sure she drops ten pounds. For a kajillionaire weight loss isnt the same as it is for normal Josaphine the Plumber. For Oprah she can rub a few bucks on her flab and it will just disappear, if that doesnt work she can get it snipped off then follow healthy diet prepared by her new chef who cooks with nothing but tofu, water and lettuce. If that doesnt work she can also hire supermodels to follow her around and every time she wants to eat anything they will wisper insults into her ear like, “Hey fatty do you really need that?” or they will simply moo at her. Dont worry oprah you will be skinny again soon. I have faith in you!
